Wednesday, 6 March 2013

The Art of the Death Threat


Man United lost controversially last night. The referee is being blamed. I suspect he is receiving numerous death threats as a result. I've never been so annoyed with someone that I decided to sit down to write them a horrible letter.

Maybe I don't care enough about things.

Maybe I'm too lazy.

Maybe I think it's the most ridiculous thing you can do to voice your anger about a particular subject.

I can't grasp the concept of it. How do you go from murderous rage to writing a letter?

Surely if you are that annoyed about something you would actually do something about it rather than write a letter that will be largely ignored by the recipient.

What do you expect to gain from it all?

Fair enough if you plan to follow it up and kill the person but that's rarely the case.

*

It's probably a scare tactic and to be honest it would be unsettling to know that somebody wishes death on you but would you really fear for your life?

I don't know the percentage of death threats that have ended in actual death but I would suspect it is lower than 1%.

I reckon that most assassinations go ahead without a letter of notice. People have learned from Bond villains failing after revealing their plans.
Death threats and general abusive messages are a lot more accessible these days with Twitter. The good thing about it though is that you can only use 140 characters so it's hard to really get your point across with that short allowance.

Also, the people who are most likely to receive them seem to be very famous so I'm sure that there are more tweets from actual fans than intentions to kill.

You could easily ignore them and just concentrate on the positive ones. Or you could respond to them with a witty remark like Malcolm above.

*

Soccer referees are a different story though. They are largely unknown until they fuck up.

I reckon that they would have about 1,000 followers before they make a poor decision and then tens of thousands after that, all of whom would be baying for blood. If I was a referee I would probably delete my Twitter account.

Although maybe they wouldn't mind all the abuse. They're certainly used to it anyway.

There's nobody in the game of football likely to receive more abuse than the poor referee...bar maybe Cristiano Ronaldo.

I have sent a few tweets to celebrities myself in the month I have been signed up to the site. None of them would be considered death threats. I tend to give cheek to them instead.

If a player costs me a bet, I feel obliged to let him know in the hope that he repays me. It has yet to prove profitable but I live in hope.

The other tweets I have sent would be in the banter category. I don't think I could hate somebody I have never met. I wouldn't be making an accurate decision.

That's why I save all my death threats for the people I know...and I will follow through with them too...

Disclaimer: That last bit was heavily sarcastic...just in case.