Friday, 15 March 2013

Everyday is a Holiday


March 14th was Steak and Blowjob Day. The 'holiday' was set up to apparently give women a chance to spoil their man after he has spoiled her on Valentines Day the previous month...not my words girls...Google told me.

I can't see it taking off to be honest. Certainly not to the same extent as Valentines anyway.

I, for one, could live without steak but I'm probably in the minority there.

I don't really like any of these celebratory days. That includes Easter, Christmas and Halloween.

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The idea of Christmas is grand. Spend a little time with the family and friends. The whole religious part of it could be done away with though. Why do we have celebrate the birth of some make believe saviour anyway?

Even if he had existed, he wasn't very good at his job. Very overrated in my opinion. He couldn't even manage to sort out Israel and that's less than 1% of the entire world. The place is still going mad 2,000 years later.

I'm not too gone on the whole Santa Claus thing either. Just give your kids presents and say they're from you. If you encourage your child to believe in things that don't exist, they could end up believing in that Jesus clown too.

Halloween is just another way of introducing our kids to begging. They're not even begging for money though, they're begging for sweets.

We're constantly being told that obesity is a problem with kids yet we send them out on the streets to beg for candy from strangers. It makes a paedophiles job a lot easier.

The worst part is that if they don't get the 'treat', they will do a 'trick'. This usually entails egging a house so add vandalism to the cons of this ridiculous holiday.

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I don't mind the fancy dress parties though. In fact I quite like them, even though I rarely dress up.

The thing is, having them at Halloween makes the themed parties a rarity for the rest of the year. If we were having fancy dress parties in summer, I could finally get to wear my schoolgirl outfit without being scared of the cold.

Easter is another holiday which children will mark in the calendar as a day where they can indulge themselves in sweets. Also like Halloween, it's a time to celebrate things that don't exist.

Ghosts, monsters and zombie Jesus are grand for movies and books but do they deserve a whole day of celebration? Why do these fictional characters get preference over some of the true classics?

Why is there no Mafia day?

Cowboy day?

Pirate day?

At least those characters are proven to have existed on Earth and the movies about them are much better.

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The thing is there could well be a Mafia/Cowboy/Pirate day that I don't know about. There seems to be something on every day of the year whether it be world renowned like Mothers/Fathers Day or something small like Snowman Burning Day (that's next Wednesday by the way).

The only way that they should be allowed to continue is if there is a worldwide vote on what the 365 days should be celebrating.

They can vary from good causes, to fun days, to remembrance days but religious days will be abolished.

Between Easter Eggs, candy and pancakes, religious holidays seem to have the end result of making children fat. Why would the Church want to make children fat and therefore slow?
We know what you're up to ye crafty fuckers.